Who’s Paying for Dinner? Online Dating Tips

Having dinner on the first date is often awkward. My  first (official) post-divorce date was dinner and a movie. I ordered pasta. What an idiot. There I was, nervously trying to make conversation, trying not to slurp my noodles or get food on my blouse.

Why You Shouldn’t Choose Dinner for a First Date

1. Dinner can be a long drawn out affair if you and your date aren’t hitting it off. You’re stuck until the meal is finished!
2. It’s awkward eating while trying to carry on a conversation with someone you’ve never met. There you are trying to make a good first impression with a piece of spinach in your teeth or trying to discreetly spit out a piece of gristle. Not pretty.
3. In many restaurants, the tables are so close together that your private conversation can easily be overheard.  I had (just) one date with a man in that kind of situation. The diner to my right was so close that we could have touched elbows.  My date, who’d already surprised me by being 2-4 inches shorter than stated and at least 4 years older, started talking about his three wives. And, proceeded to tell me he had sex over 10,000 times with wife #2.  I was speechless and embarrassed as he went on to explain, once in the morning, once in the evening and ……
4. The money issue. Who pays for dinner? Are you splitting the check? Expecting your date to pay?

Dating myth:

A man who pays for dinner expects sex in return. I don’t think so. And, less likely for the over 50 age bracket. Not to say that men and women over 50 aren’t as interested in sex as our more youthful counterparts.

Should the man pay? Is that what women expect?  Men in their 60s and older, particularly the traditional types, are more likely to insist on paying for dinner. But the process of asking and anticipating and negotiating is awkward.
I had a first date recently that ended up being a dinner date. We started with cocktails and appetizers, then moved on to dinner with several glasses of wine, ending with dessert and coffee. It was a long leisurely affair and expensive for a first date. He paid. In this case we discussed it before even getting to the restaurant.  He suggested dinner and I agreed, then he brought up the issue. He was newly separated and, I think, a bit uncertain of how to proceed.  I suggested we “Go Dutch”. He insisted on paying so I smiled and said yes. I offered again, once the bill came, but he still wanted to pay.
Then he said something interesting. If I had insisted on paying a portion of the bill he would have interpreted it as a lack of interest on my part. A way of avoiding any unspoken obligations.
We’re all a little uneasy about how to handle the bill on the first date. Ego, tradition, expectations, finances…. they all get in the way and have to be handled delicately.
What should you do? If you’re a woman, always be prepared to gracefully pay your share. Bring money or a credit card. If he offers to pay you can decide how you want to handle it. If you feel awkward then insist on sharing, but know that he might be offended. If the topic of who’s paying for dinner is important to you then plan a discussion before you even get to the restaurant.

Conversation starters for Who’s Paying for the Dinner

• Yes, dinner would be nice. Shall we go Dutch?
• I think dinner is a nice idea, how shall we deal with the check?
• Let’s have dinner, maybe some place not too pricey and we can share the cost.
• I would love to take you out to dinner. Will you let me treat you? If you feel uncomfortable with that, you can pay next time.

The key is to feel comfortable. Roles are changing and men aren’t always sure how to respond. Some women expect to be treated. Some women expect to pay their way. It’s similar to holding the door open for a date. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
You can avoid the whole issue by suggesting a coffee date for the first meeting. It’s simpler and cheaper. You can leave faster if need be or linger if the chemistry feels right.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you have a preferred method for handling dinner dates? 0 komentar

How to date a committed man?

Life is not perfect, and sometimes you have views on a committed man who is either committed or married. Life is too short to do nothing. I think that life goes by very quickly. In a blink of an eye, your twenties are gone. That’s why means justify the ends. If you are in love or if you want a man, go get it. Otherwise, you are going to have regrets all life long.
You may use my technique that is explained at the last paragraph of the business card. Get a pen name and open a facebook account with this pen name. In fact, you don’t need to upload a profile picture. Opening a facebook account with a pen name will never get you in trouble and lots. Thus, you will get protected if a jealous woman finds that somebody is interested in his boyfriend or husband. The said man may like you but social pressure may prevent him to come to you.

If you want to date him, you have to isolate him from people that surround him. In general, people are the biggest barriers to a man because they are jealous. They may make bad remarks and crash your opportunity. So, don’t try anything if another person is in presence. The isolation rule is crucial for dating a committed man. You have to find a reason to get this guy in a one to one situation with you.
So, spot a place where you can have intimacy with him. For instance, you can spot a nice barlounge or anything where you can have some intimacy. Bar lounges are in general very good. They have low intensity light, they have comfy seats, they are neutral place and nice customers. In the conversation, when you are with the said man, never mention anything that relates to his girlfriend or wife.

Don’t try to get moral. Today, men are shy. It is important to maximise your chance of scoring. That’s why it is important to offer him his favorite alcohol. It will help get rid of inhibitions. For instance, if he likes white wine, buy a glass of white wine and encourage him to take another one.
Once you think things are getting warmer, start caressing him. If he accepts to be caressed he is yours. If he is really reluctant to any caress, you just need to tell him what you want. Then, you can politely leave and wait for a feedback from him. It is important to spot a place that is close to your place if possible, in order to come back to your place as fast as possible.

How to seduce a man at the office

First of all, don’t mention you want to date a male coworker to anyone at the office. I witnessed several times that the biggest barriers to a man, are its relatives but it is not the man itself. Lots of people could jealous to see you with someone from the office. Female or male coworkers can be jealous to see you with a coworker. Also, other coworkers may smile to you and be in fact very much jealous of you. This is also one of my major. Never let anyone between yourself and a man. There should be also no intermediaries. Dating a man involve only two people. When we see in movies that friends or coworkers help to put two people together, i laugh. This scenario never happens in real life. You are the only one who can pick up a man from office.

Try to gather as many information as you can about this particular male coworker. First of all you have to get his full surname and get as many personal details as you can. For instance, try googling his name like like the following: “john doe” in order to know if he is part of associations or sport clubs. I also know girls who create a facebook profile with a pen name and asked to be friends of their “target” in order to access his facebook timeline. Take your time, don’t rush before meeting this man. By better knowing him, it will also help you to ease the conversation with him when you will date him. Gather as much information as you. Once you are ready, meet him outside the office and try to find a time when he is own his own. This is the isolation rule.

The goal is to be able to meet him outside the office. Meeting someone outside the office have lots of good sides. You don’t take any risks regarding your career. People are different when they are at work and in private networks.

How to pick up a man at the university?

University is similar to the office. It is a small society where information is passed very quickly from one person to another. That’s why it is important to use the same approach than at the office. Don’t try to directly speak with a man. Try to gather as much information as you can first. First of all, get to know his surname and investigate online what you can get as information about him.

Then, PLEASE, don’t tell anyone you have views on a particular man. Many more people are jealous than you think. I know it sounds comfortable to tell other girls than you like a guy. However, it will be not helpful at all. No one will do the job for you. I have never seen any women helped by anyone regarding dating. Dating a man should be considered today as a military plan and there should be no intermediary between yourself and the target.

Coming back to the technique, don’t rush speaking to this guy. Try to get lots of personal details about him first. It will facilitate the conversation process once you will speak to him. If you discuss with him without knowing him, you may burn your chance to go further.

Then, once you found a place where he is isolated from his own friends outside the university, try to meet him. For instance, lots of students have little jobs. That’s a perfect place to meet a man because he may be forced to listen to you at his job and also he will not be surrounded by other students.

How to pick up men in London and score

You preferably need 3 other girls. You just need to rent a 4 person dorm in a hostel, preferably where there is a hostel bar. Once you have booked a 4 person dorm, your dorm turns into a small appartment and you can do everything you want in it like buying some good beverages and inviting men to your new flat in the centre of London. In some big hostels you can pick up men at the bar inside the hostel and bring them back your bedroom. That’s that fastest way to pick up men in London. You may also find 2 person and 3 person dorms… That would be even easier.


You may also pick up men in the centre of london. It is advised to stay in your neighbourhood. For instance, if your hostel is located in west london, don’t go to east london or north london to pick up men. It would take too long to come back to your place. Try to find local bar lounges. Bar lounges are the best because they are frequented by good classy guys. There are also classy pubs but there are difficult to find.

Dating a lot of men in your lifetime

Nowadays, there are no reasons why women should not be as free as men regarding dating. We have many form of contraception and condoms both exist for women and men. Sexually transmissible diseases have been reduced to the maximum and only people who unprotected sex got STD’s today. STDs is now an urban legend that is used by religious associations or conservative people to manipulate women and enslave them.

Women and young girls, today, if you live a democracy, follow your will rather than society’s will. In fact, no one should judge your sexuality. In a democracy, women have the option to date as many men as they want. To do so, women have to face critics. In this context, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian are courageous after the release of their sex tapes. Lots of people said it was a marketing event, nevertheless in this world where there are still lots of conservative people, the biggest issue lies in the talk around those sex tapes. In fact, those talk are only words. Women and young girls have to be strong today. They have to be pro active in their sex life and sentimental life, they have to choose their sex partners, they have to consider getting sexual pleasure from men with no string attached. When you are going to be 70 years old, no one will reward you for being puritan. Your youth is going to be lost for ever.

Women, Date lots of men because life is short. Be active. Don’t wait for things to happen. Today, we live in a virtual world. We see mervellous relationships on TV and movies but we don’t live those relationships. We get old and we have then the impression we lived a thrilling sex life and sentimental life. In fact, most of the people today have a very small sex life and sentimental life. You are not going to enjoy your sex life and sentimental life at 60 years old.

Picking up your best male friend

The more you get into a friendship, relationship and the more it is difficult to turn this friendship into dating. Nevertheless, we have only one life and you may have regret not to try dating your best male friend. Most of the time in real life, best friends are made to be couples but there are psychological boundaries that prevent it. In fact, people are scared that dating could break up friendship.

For those people, i would like to say: When you will be 50 years old, and you will be married the wrong guy with 2 children, when you will be bored in your couple, you will look back upon your life, and you will understand you missed something very important. You will try to start over your life in your mind but things will be gone for ever. People today act like they have a second chance. Life never gives a second chance. You will not stay with people from High School all your life. You will not stay with University students all your life. When you are 25 years old, it means you are only 5 years away from 30 years. When you are 35 years old it means you are 5 years away from 40.

In this context, you must act fast. I suggest to invite your best friend to your house. you have to be in a one to one situation. Isolate him. You have to bring him to a closed place where nobody can get in. Get rid of inhibitions using alcohol. Let me tell you why i am speaking about alcohol. As i said before it is more difficult to turn a friendship than dating a stranger because human kind is scared to hurt a friend. However, if you follow what people think, you will do nothing. Thus, everything can help.

Use something to distract him like a movie. You should avoid formal situations where you seat in front of him and where there is nothing else to distract his mind. In this situation, he may be scared, if you tell him your intentions. I would suggest to tell him you have a nice movie. Ask him to come to your house, then bring glasses of white wine and after the second one you can jump on him. White wine is better than beer because it is stronger. It also does not bypass normal physiological body functioning. I calculated you can jump on him after the second glass.

Be pro-active, don’t expect anything from anybody else. Don’t use any intermediaries. Plan everything in your mind from the time when he will arrive to the time, you will perhaps be in a bed together. Sort everything for your plan to succeed.